Posing the question in this way really exhibits - in my view - how terrible a mistake it is to postulate ataraxia and aponia as the highest goods rather than pleasure
Yes, I absolutely agree! I don't want to say in any way that the highest goal of an Epicurean is the ataraxia and tranquility. And although autarchy is very important, sometimes its necessary to trade it in for greater pleasure. I'm not going to cancel school and head out into the world right now, because I know that if I stick through the lessons for a few more months, I'll be able to have a much better future. In my opinion, thats self-evident, and thus the argument that "no pain is the main goal" is honestly stupid
(2) and protection and financial stability of women, who are apt to be put in extremely poor financial positions if the commitment that is made in raising a family or being married in general is not long term.
Thats a good point- I see the negative side, where a woman is forced to stay in a toxic relationship although it would be better (albeit financially more difficult) to head out on her own...