16 is harmed by the inclusion of advantage and disadvantage, as if there can be any standard other than pleasure and pain
17 introduces 3 goals-- life, happiness, and health. And since (according to our prior group PMs) you define happiness as being something different from pleasure, you have left pleasure entirely out of the picture of the chief goods. Although safety, friendship, autarky, etc, are conditions most typical humans will find pleasurable, they are not goods in themselves nor do they become absolute goods-- there will be exceptions, and there will be times when these conditions come into conflict with each other. So it is not true that anything you do to get one of these conditions will bring you pleasure. It will depend on the specifics of the situation, and pleasure is the deciding factor. This statement has made autarchy and the rest an absolute.
18 is also too absolute. If an unplanned life is pleasurable, it is certainly worth living to the person living it. It is only that freedom and planning increase our chances of success at gaining pleasure, so it is _wise_ to plan.
19/ 20-- you revert again to the term happiness here, and since I don't agree with your definition of it as something other than pleasure (or of anything but pleasure as a goal), I can't agree. I would say friendship is essential (for almost all of us) for pleasure. But you have quoted the justice PDs instead of the friendship PDs, and they are related but not the same. I would like to see you quote "All friendship is desirable in itself, though it starts from the need of help"-- and we know that if anything is desirable in itself, that means it is a _pleasure_-- friendship is a pleasure. I think you need to include the feelings here. It is not a cold calculation. It might help to have some kind of more clear introduction where you say something like "anytime I use the word advantage or benefit, I am talking about pleasure alone." Someone very familiar with Epicurus would know that, but I think it helps to make it clear to newcomers.