Joshua's "Only The Beginning" Observation

Quote from Matt

We can still maintain relations with certain people based on familial ties or old friendships.

Yes, I have two sisters...one is a kind and good-natured "fervent Christian". The other is very difficult to communicate with because she has a very negative and aggressive attitude. She isn't all "bad"..it is about a 50/50 chance whether she will be in an okay mood or in a negative mood. Luckily she lives in another state so I only see her once a year when I go to visit family. I have decided that I want to maintain some kind of connection with her, so will talk on the phone occassionally. But I really need to "take care of myself" and that means not letting her attitude bring me down, as well as remembering not to confide my feelings, or too many details of my life because she will twist them around and make it "unpleasant". So I set boundaries within myself to be clear about my connection with her, and to be clear about what I will and will not tolerate from her (I can remove myself from a conversation when it gets too unpleasant).

I have a situation like that too, but his is very much inspired by internet related ideologies. Oddly enough he’d be far more “normal” had he never become so invested in the internet lifestyle that consumes nearly all of society today. I had to remove myself from all forms of social media (except for this forum) to cut off the constant negative energy.

And I don’t attribute this to me or anyone being overly sensitive either, but rather a simple psychological truth that constant exposure to negative people, news, conspiracy theories, apocalyptic narratives etc. can have a detrimental chemical impact on our psyches…especially since there is no reprieve from it 24/7.

I stumbled across the podcast Your Undivided Attention about two years ago and I find it really put things in a new perspective re: social media. Highly recommended if you have a commute or similar podcast time.

I've also cut off social media except for a couple forums and feel a lot better and less anxious. I still have the behavior of reaching for my phone whenever there is a spare minute, but I've been getting better at asking myself, is there something else I'd rather do instead? I read a lot more books now.

Since I have late-diagnosed (very late: 60 or so) ADHD, for me it's a bit of "one thought at a time."

Although that diagnosis was a big relief ("You mean I'm not crazy!?"), I personally reject the "disorder" in that last D. It's just the way my brain works, a bit outside the area of central tendency on the distribution; it has benefits and drawbacks, that's all. I naturally "hypertext" more than "knuckling down" my mind (which I did for years, to some detriment of my health).

I also cut off some social media (Facebook, some online forums; never tweeted) and have simply and peacefully left some former friends when the relationship became toxic. I feel more peaceful about that reading some of your experiences on here. Thanks.