For me it was difficult as well… I had multiple times where I reverted back. But the reality is now (in my opinion) the world reflects the naturalistic ideas of Epicureanism. I don’t see miracles, I don’t see angels, I don’t see the righteous and pious being rewarded and the sinners being punished. When someone says “God blessed me” for saving me from disaster, but simultaneously allows someone else to have tragedy, the answer is always its all in God’s plan. I just don’t see any of that. It takes years to undo what has been put in our minds….
And I don’t take this lightly, I know it’s powerful. It can cause a person to abandon friends, forsake family and allow some terrible folks to justify their really terrible behavior with “greasy grace”… even if I sin I am always forgiven, bought and paid for. It’s the ultimate lack of accountability with no warranty.